My Green Gables Story
Jessica Pell-Taylor moved to Green Gables aged just 18. Jessica is now 37 and is sharing her story to mark the 20-year anniversary of Green Gables in Doncaster.
By Jessica Pell-Taylor
I’ll start from the beginning and explain how I ended up where I am today.
I was born a twin in February of 1987. I have three younger brothers. I grew up in a large house, but it was cold, with single pane glass windows and no central heating. My mum and dad divorced when I was 12 and there wasn’t much spare money. We didn’t have a lot growing up but there was always food on the table, and we had clean clothes on our backs. And we all had each other, these were some of the best memories I had growing up.
Because I was a twin, I felt like I had to share everything with my sister, but when I turned 14, I met a boy i liked. I started to miss school to spend all my time with him. I hadn't realised how my relationship was affecting the bond I had with my twin, and it caused a lot of arguments with my mum. She didn’t like the boy and she knew I could do better.
Around this time, I ran away from home for about 4 months. I had no money for food, so I was always hungry, and I was staying in a house where I was not really wanted. My clothes were dirty, and I started to argue with my boyfriend a lot. So, I moved back home and tried to patch up my relationship with my mum and family.
Over the next few months my belly started to get bigger. I thought it was because I was putting the weight back on that I’d lost. Then even more weight piled on, so I started to make myself sick. But my belly still grew. It was on the 18th April 2002, 22 years ago, that I took a pregnancy test. It came back positive. I was filled with a mixture of emotions happy, scared, terrified, but most of all I knew that I was going to keep my baby and be the best mum I could be regardless of my age.
My mum didn’t take the news well. She walked out on me and told me that I had to find somewhere else to live. My dad disowned me. I didn’t see him again until the night before Kieran was born. I was judged and I quickly found out who my real friends were.
I decided to try and make things work with Kieran’s dad, I later lived to regret that decision.
I had a good pregnancy. As my baby bump grew, I realised that I had to take responsibility for my actions. I went back to school at Cantley Young Parents Centre. There were other girls in the same situation, only they had supportive families. I completed 2 years' worth of schoolwork in 7 months and gave birth to Kieran who spent 4 months in the hospital because he was 2 months early and his lungs had not developed properly.
This was one of the hardest times of my life up until that moment. Not knowing if my child would live or die, while my boyfriend was out cheating on me with different girls. I remember crying so hard in the hospital and not having any support.
It wasn’t easy, I was physically and emotionally drained almost all the time. I was 15 years old. As Kieran grew stronger and older, my mum softened and started to help me more and my sister helped the best way she could. Money was still tight, but I managed.
When I was 16 years old, I decided that I needed my own space and moved into a rental property. Kieran's dad came to stay and he never left. He was abusive in every way, and I didn’t see it until it was too late.
I was living on £75 per week income support. That was supposed to cover the bills, food and things I needed to care for my son.
I attended a Beauty Therapy course at Doncaster College 5 days a week. I walked for 45 minutes to take Kieran to nursery in the pram and then on to Church View College, all before 9am in the morning. My stomach hurt constantly from starvation, because there was no extra money for a packed lunch. I would regularly have to choose between buying my son nappies or buying the ingredients for a sandwich. I chose nappies.
I watched as all the other girls in my group talked about night outs and boyfriends and I sat with envy. But I knew when I collected Kieran, the look in his eyes would make all the sacrifices worth it.
I was in my second year of college, and due to an unfortunate situation, Kieran's dad had got himself into, my house was burgled, and we became homeless.
I felt like I was literally at rock bottom. Kieran’s dad had taken everything from me, my confidence, my self-esteem, my house, and I felt broken.
I moved back in with my mum, but it was overcrowded. This was when I went to the Women’s Centre and Paula, my Key Worker there, suggested that I apply for Green Gables. She helped me to fill out the forms and a short time after I was offered a two-bedroomed house. This was one of the first houses that Green Gables had renovated and because I had previously had my own house, I was allowed to move straight in.
The house was more beautiful than I could have ever imagined. Everything was new and clean. I could still smell the fresh paint on the walls and the freshness of the carpets. I cried with happiness. I felt so grateful for this opportunity - to be able to have a fresh start with my little boy, away from my past.
My new house felt like home and Kieran was happy there too. He was growing so fast; he was happy, laughing and smiling all the time. He was meeting all his growth targets for his age, and I was able to cook him healthy meals and ensure that he had clean clothes. He was bathed every night and I read him bedtime stories and ensured that he was in bed by 7pm.
While I lived at Green Gables, I'd meet weekly with my Support Worker called Sue. She was amazing. She always listened to me and offered me support. I was given a grant to go and buy some new clothes and Sue came with me. We went to Primark. Sue was shocked by how far I made the money stretch with sale items and discounts.
I remember Sue saying that this money was for me, and I had to spend all of it on myself. This was something I was never able to do. Over the months, with Sue’s help, I was able to piece myself back together. I grew stronger, healthier and happier and I was more determined than ever to make something of myself.
I completed a food hygiene course with Jannie, and I learnt how to make delicious meals from scratch. I would plan my meals in advance, go to Tesco’s in the town center, buy all the ingredients and batch-cook healthy meals. This saved money and time after a long day at college and Kieran loved it. We’d sit at the table together and I’d be teaching Kieran table manners from a young age.
I learnt about money management, and how to budget to be able to save for things like days out, clothes and birthday parties. Money was still tight but I learnt how to be careful.
Next door to Green Gables there was a Children’s Center, I became friends with the girls who worked there, and they told me about the toy library they ran. I could pay 20p to rent a toy per night and bring it back when Kieran had finished playing with it. Kieran loved our little trips there and he still got to play with the most up to date toys that I couldn’t afford. He loved the wooden Thomas the Tank Engine train set.
I made a lot of friends at Green Gables. We used to go shopping and have little coffee meetings in each other's houses as well and in the main area, and we’d all speak to the staff on duty. In the summer we would get all the toys out in the back garden for the children to play with. I really liked the way it felt like a community. There was always someone to talk too.
Life was good. I moved colleges to finish my studies and I worked hard to pass, considering I had dyslexia and had a reading age of a 10-year-old at 18. I was proud of my achievement.
I’d drop Kieran off at the Nursery down the road at 7am. Then head for the bus and I wouldn't get back to pick him up until 5pm. The staff said that ‘favourites’ weren’t allowed, but Kieran always made them laugh. I'd take him home and put him in the bath, sing songs and put his pjs on, get him his supper so he would sleep better and then read Winnie The Pooh books holding his hand until he fell asleep. Then I would start revising for college.
Green Gables took a few of the girls and babies to Scarborough fully paid for, this was the first time that Kieran had ever been to the beach. It was one of the most magical days ever. The sun was shining, and we ate ice cream by the sea.
At nearly 18 I’d been at Green Gables for 2 years, which is the time that I was allowed to stay there for. I felt ready to start my next chapter, and allow someone else to experience the luxury of the house I was in. I was offered a 2-bedroomed council house in Bawtry. I took this with no hesitation.
I later went on to buy my council house. I re-trained as an electrician in 2007 with Doncaster Council. This meant I was able to provide for Kieran's needs while he was growing up. Being a single parent had its challenges, but I loved the experience.
I ended up studying to become a Tutor at Doncaster College teaching electrics and I did this for 18 months. Once Kieran turned 18, he decided to leave home and move in with his girlfriend. This allowed me to really think about what I wanted from my life. I have chosen to go down the path of becoming Counsellor. I completed all the relevant courses to start my Degree and I am halfway through now. I plan to carry on after I qualify to complete my Masters.
I have always dreamed of traveling to New Zealand, so I started to plan and booked a 3-week solo trip in June 2023. This was one of the scariest but most rewarding trips of my life. It showed me how much strength I have and that I can achieve anything I put my mind to. I also volunteered through the University of Doncaster to help teach street children in New Deli and in October 2023 I went to India. This was a very rewarding trip, and it opened my eyes to poverty on a scale I'd never seen before.
When I look back, to when I was a young mum, I didn’t believe that I would be in the position that I am today. I truly believe that with the help from Green Gables, I was given a second chance, and I was not going to let it pass me by.